I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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