i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
