I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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