We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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