If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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