Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
