3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
