Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
