Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
