I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
