that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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