so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
