so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
