We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
