i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
