So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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