I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
