y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
