You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
