Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
