oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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