I bet he comes in French.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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