marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
