So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
