we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
