Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
