I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize