Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
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no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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