That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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