i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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