u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
