I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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