Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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