if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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