Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
