If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
