He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize