Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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