thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
