Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
