what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
