According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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