He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love