You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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