just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
