How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
