Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
