Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
