And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
