My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I FOUND THE LEGS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize