So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
