hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
