Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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