It's Friday. Sex?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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