I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How does one acquire holy water?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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