Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
