i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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