Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
