found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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