this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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