Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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